Gratefulness and Resolution

So now that things are quieting down after the holidays, I think about what 2020 will hold. Last year was a tough one in so many ways but I feel like 2020 has more positive vibes.  I try to be grateful for all that we did get last year, like a cancer-free bill of health for my husband in November.  A precious little grandson, who is starting to babble and smile while his 3-year-old sister is singing her heart out in the background. Last year I got to attend our youngest daughter’s Pediatric Residency graduation, that was a proud moment!  This will be another year to farm and hope that last year’s unprecedented results will somehow bear the fruit of our labors again this summer and fall.  I’m thankful for our parents to still be around, especially since I know so many friends who have lost their precious mom or dad.  Looking forward, this year we will see our youngest get married and add another girl to our family. I’m grateful to see our son find someone who is the calm in the storm when times get rough.  Life is good when our family grows, just more people to love! 

I haven’t done a New Year’s resolution for many years. I try every year to be a better person than I was the year before. Try to be more compassionate for others, we don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors or how other people are truly feeling inside. For instance, many of you know that I’ve fought fibromyalgia for the last 35 plus years. I was a college freshman when I was first diagnosed as having rheumatoid arthritis but that was changed a few years later to fibromyalgia. Either way, it doesn’t matter what the name or what I have is but how it impacts my life. Many people don’t understand illnesses that can’t be seen. Fibromyalgia is just one of the many like depression, anxiety, lupus, migraines, many auto-immune diseases, etc.  Just because someone looks happy and healthy on the outside doesn’t mean everything is going great on the inside.  There have been many times that I haven’t been able to attend an event or drive somewhere because I am stuck at home, aching from head to toe.  Now for decades I have been taking ibuprofen to help the aching but I’m just learning from my new doctor that ibuprofen is not good for my stomach and can easily cause a bleeding ulcer after so many years of abuse.  Unfortunately, it seems the only thing that works for me but because I’d rather not get an ulcer, I’ve been trying alternate things to try. Some work, some don’t. Some take a few weeks to help at all. So far, I’ve been able to bypass the ibuprofen and only take it when my head is pounding and nothing else is working.  But gone are the days of taking ibuprofen like they are m & m’s! So, if fibromyalgia has taught me anything in life, it’s that you should always be kind to others because you don’t know what inner battle they are fighting.  I think it’s called compassion. Yeah, that’s it! Does anybody know how to use it anymore? I see people judging others, I’m guilty as well, and telling people off but when it comes down to it, we don’t know what’s “actually” going on or how many days they’ve been feeling depressed or hurting. All of this behind the scenes information can explain a lot of how people act and talk to others. I may put on a brave face because I’m out in public and I want to show the world that I’m trying to be a better person. But if I slip up and say something crabby or don’t take the time to chat in the grocery store, you can be sure that something underneath the surface is in pain. So please don’t take offense. I’ll hopefully be better next time. Maybe next time I won’t be aching somewhere or having stabbing pains in my legs or arms. It’ll be a better day for me and all I need to know is that there are compassionate people out there for me, when I’m having a not so good day.

Love and compassion,

Becky